Noa's almost walking!

It's been almost a year since my last post—proof that once you have kids your life changes in big ways. Two kids, and the time you took for granted is suddenly hard to come by. We're off to Israel for two weeks, looking forward to the trip.

(Thanks for prodding me to keep posting to this blog Jon Drummer cellphone dude)

House Full of Ladies...

Is it bad that I started wearing nail polish and crimping my hair?

A quick update on our little tribe of doubleX chromosome people.

Noa is now starting to look human. We're all a bit relieved that she left her infantile looks behind her. She got a cute little button nose, and eyes that we're having a very hard time identifying exactly from which side of the family they come from. Some days is Dana's side, others it's mine for sure. What's the deal with babies, they can't make up their minds!

Right now, Sofi is giving Noa her morning wake up routine, squatting over Noa as she sits in her bouncy chair. Noa looks petrified as Sofi waves her arms and pokes her nose and tries to make baby talk.. it's really funny.

... gotta go... will add to this later.

Dana and Noa

Introducing Noa (continued)

Not much time here, but I'll take a stab at squeezing out an entry.

To wrap up the story of Noa's birth:

we got to the hospital, Dana was already transitioned, her contractions were strong but not quite close enough together to have the baby in the lobby. a little while longer (3 hours) she was ready to go, and our doctor came into the room looking like she was still dreaming, since I had woken her in the middle of the night with a phone call.

Dana gave one gigantic push, and Dr. Solomon noticed that the crown of the baby's head was already visible. She commanded her to stop pushing to give her enough time to get her gloves on, but Dana ignored that (who wouldn't? Hey Tom, just hold that ball of fire with your bare hands while I check my email.. then I'll splash water on it). The next push popped the head out completely, a blue mess of flesh and hair that I was supposed take to the park someday. All the while, the doctor had one gloved hand under baby's head to support it, and the other was frantically motioning to the nurse, accompanied by the most serious facial expression I'd ever witnessed, to put the @#!@%#% glove on. (no curse words were used, mind you) She noticed that the umbilical cord was wrapped around baby's neck, and the doctor performed a series of ninja-like moves with her scissors to cut the cord, then suctioned out mucous and pulled baby fully into the outside world. There was a moment of silence during which my heart sank, but shortly thereafter the baby (yet un-named) began to cry it's first cry, filling it's lungs for the first time with the refreshing natural scents of––a hospital.

Next one we're delivering in the woods.

We had a short list of names, and after ruling out Broome Hilda, we decided on Noa, which means movement in Hebrew. Noa turned six weeks old yesterday and she is no longer blue, but she is getting more hairy as the days pass. Her older sister Sofia likes to occasionally kick her, and she threw a tennis ball that bounced right on the soft spot of Noa's skull. But other than that, Sofi shows much love and affection to her new little sister.

Introducing Noa...

Ok. That wasn't so bad. Here's how it went down.

Friday night we came back to the house around nine or ten, both of us sure that the baby was not going to come until Saturday or Sunday––if we were lucky. Sof went to sleep without much effort and we were just winding down from a busy week.

I was sitting in bed reading about the environmental troubles facing modern China (boring, I know) in a great book I'm reading called Collapse. when suddenly, Dana's water broke. Within five minutes my adrenaline level hit the roof and we were scrambling to get our overnight bag together and make sure someone would be able to come stay at our house to be with Sofi. (Thanks Sabba, Safta and Nat!)

By the time we hit the thruway it was midnight, and after a few minutes we hit the worst traffic I'd seen in a long time on the thruway during rush hour––and it was midnight! We had just passed an exit about a mile back, so it was too far to drive the shoulder backwards. I put a call into 911 and told them our situation:

I've got a pregnant wife here...her water just broke.. she's having pretty major contractions...we're heading north on the NY State Thruway, between Exit 14B and the toll booths... we're in a blue Toyota Rav4 and we're in the right lane...we're stuck in major traffic and we need to get to Good Sam Hospital in Suffern

Long story shorter (since I only have a few minutes until one of the little ones needs us), the nearest state trooper was far away, and for him to cut through the traffic from where he was would be much too late for us. So I did what every man dreams of doing with a pregnant wife in his car––drive like a maniac.

I was driving on the shoulder, weaving in and out of traffic cones marking a construction site which was the reason for all this untimely traffic. Oh, and I bet you can guess how many workers were on the scene... not one! Might have been a lunch break or something. Whatever. Every few minutes or so we received a call from the dispatcher in the thruway authority command center asking where we were, and his tone changed from indifference to emotionally invested, as if he were part of an important event. He became a cheerleader of sorts. He told me the contruction site was breaking down, and that traffic would clear up after the tolls, from which we were still pretty far from. I made him promise that he knew what he was talking about, since I didn't get my Labor and Delivery merit badge during my stint as a Boy Scout. He laughed and swore with a scouts honor, so we pressed on.

He was right, after we reached the tolls by Chestnut Ridge, the traffic did, in fact, begin to break apart, albeit one lane. So a little bit of fancy off roading got us to the head of the long line of truckers waiting to lay down some pedal to get to the other end of their runs. The Suffern exit came into view, the radiant welcoming green that shone in the night, easing my fears that I'd need to perform a C-Section in a Toyota Rav4 with a bunch of overtired truckers cheering me on.

The final check in call came from Mr. Anonymous at the thruway authority, and I'm sure it made his night to know that we were pulling off the highway to bring another life into the world that he played a small part in.

[ Due to crying baby, this story will be continued in next post ]

It's a girl! (well, almost)

Had another sonogram yesterday... the technician showed us a closeup of the area in question, and asked us to guess based on what we saw on the screen. Looked like a package to me, and I said so. But I was wrong. Apparently, girls special places look a lot like boys in the womb. Maybe that's why women are so jealous of men once they're on the outside (cheap shot, i know.. and not really how i feel)

So, Sofi's going to be a big sister to a little sister... they can share clothes (we'll see how long that one lasts) If only they can share a college, and a husband, and a car... we won't have to work like dogs to save up for all that stuff ;)

We're really happy about it.. the scenes are already playing in my head of how cute they'll be playing together....

Here we go again!

Man. Time flies these days. We're five months pregnant now and Dana's belly looks as if she's in her 8th or 9th month. They say the second one shows much quicker. Dana's next to me right now playing her guitar and singing...I'm sure the little one can feel the vibrations and is probably pretty happy at the moment.

This last sonogram we had (first one for this baby) was supposed to show us the sex of the little peanut, but it was a bit camera shy and kept squirming away from the relentless noise of the ultrasound. We've got another appointment in January and the technician promised he'd be able to tell us what it is then.

Anyone have any strong feelings about what it's going to be? Post your votes as comments below! The winner gets to baby sit as much as they want.

Sofi hasn't connected the bulge in Dana's belly with the fact that she'll soon be a sister to someone (and judging by the sonogram, it's looking like we'll have some sort of unidentified lizard left over from the cretacious period), which is fine because we have a few spray bottles and some electric hot rocks laying around the house)

She's really great with other babies in her life, gentle, and very curious... Uh oh! sofi's up... gotta cut this one short... ahhh, I just had a thought about what life must have been like when you had more than ten minutes in a row to anything! We watch movies in small chunks.. more like short films that are somehow connected by the same actors and music. Makes life that much more interesting...

oh.. right... i said i had to go... and I meant it...

She's organized...

Press Release: Sofia Software Update

Sofia v2.0

We are proud to announce the release of the latest version of SOFIA, our prized hardware/software combination that has brought joy to many happy customers so far. In this press release, you'll find details about the many newly added features, and upgrades on many of the original features that shipped with SOFIA v1.0.

New Features Overview:

• Addition of 6 Teeth (4 top, 2 bottom)
• Increase in RAM
• Additional Hard Drive space for storing words and images
• Speaking module added, very life-like sounds
• New Drive system that has been upgraded to crawl
• Auto-balancing Gyroscopic mechanism installed for standing
• Walk preparation software installed
• Solid food digestion software rewritten from the core
• PARROT™ software installed enabling SOFIA™ to imitate people
• Hand Clap feature enabled (last version was disabled)
• Dance software included, though very limited for this release

Features in development for the next release (v3.0)

• Conversational Engine
• Advanced Phenome Recognition Software
• Hug 1.0 Release
• Kisses 1.0 Beta Launch
• Full NIght Sleep Configuration

See video clips of Sofia 2.0 in action!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4nCxNJ81apw

Up and Down

The Race is on!

Just yesterday Sofi began to make very clear word sounds with some sort of intention. Alot of “Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba,” and “Ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma.” It's completely adorable and brings tears to our eyes every time. But while Sofi is fighting the war against her tongue to make words we can understand, there is another war being waged in the background.

The first word war. (WWI for you vets)

That's right. The battle has begun. Like boxing coaches, or acting coaches, Dana and I each have Sofi in our respective corners, both teaching her to say a word, but it's not the same word. Oh no. We are each teaching her a word so powerful that when said, will make a grown man or woman jump out of bed from the most solid of sleeps to do anything and everything the speaker of these magical words utters. The words are Ima (mommy) and Daddy (Aba). Easy to learn. Impossible to ignore.

These two words are magical keys that unlock doors we didn't even know existed. Until now, communication with Sofi has been, for the most part, a one way street with the occasional acknowlegement on her part in the form of a smile, a laugh or an uncontrolled screech. But once she is armed with one or both of these words the rules of the game will change forever.

For the past six months, Dana has been doing most of the hard work during the long night while I dream and drool obliviously next to her, like sleeping on the edge of a volcano that is erupting, unaware of the chaos she has been enduring in the name of motherhood. Granted, I am often on the 10pm to midnight shift, which is usually uneventful, and on the other end of the night for the 5:15am to 7am session until Dana wakes up from her beauty sleep of 3 or 4 non-consecutive hours––if she's lucky. So, the moment Sofi masters the word 'Daddy' I will be forever on call all through the night ready to come to the rescue of my little squishy, like a superhero who hears the faint cry of someone in peril miles away.

But until then, I'll be sleeping like a baby, drool and all.

Oh, and if by some chance she learns to say 'Ima' first, I don't even want to know the consequences of that. I might have to legally change my name to 'Ima' so that Dana can get a solid nights sleep.

Solid Food Time

Sofi Loves to Laugh!

Fluid by Design

Every seven years or so, every single cell in our bodies is replenished. We are liquid by design. A flowing river of flesh and blood. We are poster-children for change .

What does this mean for us? It's proof that to hold on too firmly to anything that is your physical makeup is the same as grabbing a handful of water. Try it next time you're at the ocean, or in the bath. With a strong hand, reach down to grab a fistfull of water. Hmmm. It seems that the harder you squeeze, the faster the water escapes your grip.

Now try again, but this time with a cupped, open hand. Gently lift the water. Notice how the water peacefully remains in this almost effortless position. Now think about the firmness of your mental grip on your own identity, and the identity of others in your life, family, friends, acquaintences or enemy. Keep this in mind always.

This photo Dana took of Sofi and I was a happy accident (credit due to TV Painter Bob Ross here) that shows how fast she's changing before our eyes, and in turn, how fast we all must have changed in front of our parents eyes.

Almost Five Months Old...

Sofi came with Kung Fu Action Grip™
Don't ask me where the time has gone. It's a mystery. It just keeps pumping out of the great faucet in the sky. I just wish for a minute that we were able to simply turn the knob––you know it would have one of those grimy phony chrystal handles on it like they do in the YMCA––and shut it off for a while. Take a look around you. Check out your scene and really appreciate what you've got right next to you. In this modern world we're generally so focused on what we haven't got. A bigger house. A nicer car. A fancier cat. This or that person's glamorous lifestyle. And I think it's sad that it's so easy to exist anywhere but in the present moment. If you're like me, you spend half of each day worrying about yesterday, and the other half worrying about tomorrow. If you're a skilled mathmetician, you're realize that it leaves nothing left to appreciate the most important part of it all. The Now. Yesterday's tomorrow, Tomorrow's yesterday.

Oh. And if you haven't figured it out yet, I just finished reading "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle. That's right. I'm not ashamed to start preaching right away something I only read a day ago... That's the way things work, only most of the time people wouldn't admit it. Call me honest. Call me a fool. I don't care. I'm tired.



This picture made me think of Bjørk.

The Face Tells a Story (Part I)

Well. We're back in the states after what felt like a month-long trip, and before I go into detail I'll ask you to take a good look at Sofia's face in the photo above. Ok, now what do you think is going through her head at that moment? I'll tell you. It's a single word, one syllable: "Why?"

That's correct. "Why?" As in, "Why did you two drag me down to Central America when I wasn't feeling so well?"

Hmm. That's an excellent question Sofia. We'll need to think about that one a while. Can we give you an answer when you're, say, 30 years old? Great, thanks.

If you haven't heard already, or were not there to experience it first hand I will try to paint a picture of our tropical getaway down in Panama. Before we left, we brought Sofi to the pediatrician who, after checking her, reassured us there was nothing to worry about and that should she come down with a fever to take her to the doctor on the island. But at this point, she had mild congestion and no signs of an immenent fever. So we were relieved to hear exactly what we were hoping to hear. That our vacation would still happen. Though I must admit there was a moment during the doctor visit during which I hoped he would tell us "Look, you two are smart... just stay home, give up the dream of this vacation and do what's best for the little one... there's always next year." But that thought was quickly silenced by another voice in my head, this time it was me floating in a pool with a sweet tan, beverage in hand, and a cool breeze in my face saying "Whatever man...you're going to give this up... look at this place.. it's paradise!" (takes sip from drink as a monkey knuckles over to poolside with a fresh drink) Damn, he's right. I mean, I'm right. I mean, we're right. So we lugged our luggage because that's where the word comes from anyway and we always like to do the proper thing.

The flight from Newark to Panma City (Tocumen Aeropuerto):

...to be continued

She's growing fast.

Soon she'll be talking and telling us stories. (let me know if you can't view the movies. Tell me what type of computer you are using, Mac or PC, and what browser)


Sofi laughs as daddy hits her buddy Miles with a pillow. She has the evil streak in her.. just like her daddy.



This is Sofi's new friend Annie from Warwick. The had a little hand holding session that was really cute.

Drawing

Drew this one a few weeks ago.. just finally got around to scanning it. I think it captures something of Sofi here.
Short on time, so I'll lay off the words this morning. There's a dusting of snow out every window.. it's around 30 degrees farenheit.. the car windows wouldn't open due to ice. The cats might be totally frozen out there. Then again, the little killers are probably busy tracking something down for the kill. They usually bring home something new every other day or so, rabbits, squirrels, mice, birds of all sizes, chipmunks too. I'm waiting for the day when I open the front door to get the mail and I see one of the neighbors kids on our doorstep that Cassius or Francis dragged over. Or a snowman. You pick.

The Secret to Getting What You Want

Just yesterday Sofi used her hand to reach out and hit something and, after seeing what the result was, she did it a few times after that with big smiles. For some of you reading this it might not seem like a big deal. But for Dana and I it is a crucial step for Sofia on the path of development that is cause for celebration––and yes, a bit of bragging.

When we are infants we are whole (notice I said 'we' as it's easy to detach from our own beginnings and only recently am I making the connection myself). We are at unity with the world and everything in it, our sense of self is no different from our sense of 'other' or 'else.' For infants, everything is happening to them. Light, sound, touch, a car driving by, a plane over head. It is quite the opposite of the way we experience the world as adults with our world diced up and arranged into neat categories with value judements attached to each one like product descriptions in a mail order catalog. According to many philosophers and theologians, my favorite Alan Watts our problems are rooted in the misperception that we are separate from our environment, that there is a 'me' and an 'everything else' category.

But back to the thread of this posting, before I go into orbit. Watching Sofi focus intently on something dangling before her (one of those plush mobiles) has been an enlightening experience for us. In order for her to finally reach out to touch the thing, days and days of preparation needed to have taken place. She began with simply becoming aware that there is, in fact, a thing hanging in front of her face. Next, after mulling this over for a while, realized that she too can touch this thing to make it move like we do. Major problem: she doesn't realize she has the use of her arms. Until this point she's been on autopilot, 'flying the invisible stunt kite," as if she was controlling two strings, one in each hand making it twist and dive above her.

So we keep an eye on her as she focuses all her powers of concentration on this one object hanging before her. So intense a moment that she begins to bubble at the mouth, her tongue darting in and out, a sign of things to come (so many kids use their tongue to guide their hands when doing things like coloring and drawing... I used to use my tongue on road trips when I was a boy to skip over the cracks in the highway.. when one came close to the front of the car.. I'd snap my tongue to the roof of my mouth and when I sensed we'd made it over.. tongue would drop back down) So a few days of this intense focusing on the hanging stuffed elephant and suddenly her left arm responds to the desire to reach out and touch it. I wouldn't call it control, but there's no doubt that she hit this thing a few times, smiling after each turn, aware that she had made a giant step.

Now, of course I don't write about any old thing. You're thinking: "What's the lesson here, Tommy Boy?" (To be honest with myself, I have to admit that no one is asking that and it's only me.... so be it.)

What I learned from watching this play out is that in life, you cannot achieve something if you do not truly and whole-heartedly desire it. Some of us complain over and over: "I don't know why I didn't get that job," or "I wanted to go to Europe, but I just never really had the money," or "I wanted to go to the moon with the Apollo, but there were no more seats available." But––and it's taken me until thirty-one years of age to truly absorb this–– they didn't want it bad enough. Simple. I want to play music, make an album, play shows all over the world, be interviewed on radio shows... but how bad do I want it?
It's something to think about, for all of us. How bad do you want to touch the dream that is dangling before your face like a carrot on a string? If the answer is "With all my heart and soul, Tom" then god bless you, go out and grab it before it's too late.

I'm right behind you.